Weekly Column Archives
June, 2013
Teen unable to process death of parent
Dear Straight Talk: I’m 16. This year, my family faced hard times that I'm afraid my friends can't really understand. My mom died three months ago after years of fighting breast cancer. I never told my friends about her illness…
Stepdad asks for tips on being ideal stepfather
Dear Straight Talk: How nice to discover this forum! I'm a new stepfather to a boy, 14 and a girl, 16. Their mother has had full custody for eight years. Please advise as to the ideal stepfather. What's the worst thing I can do?…
Create safety net for those who have cleaned up
Dear Straight Talk: I want to make everyone aware of something that cost me my son Joshua's life. Several of his friends died in high school. He first buried his feelings with marijuana, then switched to alcohol in order to pass drug…
May, 2013
Older sister needs to get thoughts under control
Dear Straight Talk: I'm 17 with a 12-year-old brother who I love very much. I've always been a good big sister to him and he comes to me for consolation and advice. We have to share a bedroom and seeing each other nude has never…
Is Facebook use slacking off?
Dear Straight Talk: A middle school teacher friend of mine says he’s noticed his students are less interested in Facebook. My 16- and 19-year-old are constantly on Facebook, which drives me crazy, as a father, because I feel it distracts…
Here’s to you Mrs. Robinson
Dear Straight Talk: I'm 17 and being seduced by a "Mrs. Robinson.” She’s a rich divorced friend of my mom's in her 40s, in great shape and very attractive. First she offered me good money to do yard work. Then she started…
Should Mom share her prom-night story?
Dear Straight Talk: My daughter, 17, always attends prom. She is curious about my prom experience. I wasn't popular in high school, but right before graduating, a boy I'd just met asked me to his school's prom. WOW!…
April, 2013
Shy freshman mortified over school showers
Dear Straight Talk: I'm a high school freshman and very private about my body. I can't handle anybody seeing me naked except my sister and my best friend. Not even my mom. Our gym teacher told us, with hot weather coming, everyone…
Brother blackmailed over condoms
Dear Straight Talk: I'm 16, sharing a room with my 13-year-old sister because our single-parent mom can’t afford otherwise. My sister snooped, found my hidden condoms and now she's blackmailing me. I have to pay her from my…
Big Sis wants Lil’ Sis to forgive her
Dear Straight Talk: I’m ashamed to say I was like "No Slut's" sister [column MAR 26]. In addition to having a terrible reputation, which gave my younger sister a bad reputation, I did everything to make her life miserable. The…
Toxic stress + bad diet = HUGE PROBLEMS
Dear Straight Talk: I have the opportunity to observe teenagers without being a teacher, administrator or counselor. I notice three things: 1) Those getting into trouble have stressful home lives and parent issues. 2) These kids commonly…
Do I tell on sibling regarding Adderall use?
Dear Straight Talk: After reading the warning signs of Adderall abuse in your recent column (MAR 19), I'm 99 percent sure my older brother is on Adderall or something similar. He’s paranoid about his grades being perfect so he…
March, 2013
Getting past a false reputation in high school
Dear Straight Talk: I’m 16 and my sister (a senior) has the deserved reputation of a "slut." Our mom is an alcoholic who will sleep with anybody, even with my sister and me right in the next room, so I think my sister learned from…
Academic doping with Adderall not road to excellence
Dear Straight Talk: My very stressed-out son admitted using Adderall as a "study drug." He says he needs it to be competitive. He buys it at high school for $3 a pill, saying, "you can get it everywhere." I had no idea this was such a widespread…
Hung-up over “using the facility”? We don’t think so
Dear Straight Talk: I'm 16 with a 14-year-old sister and 11-year-old brother. We live with our mom in a three-bedroom apartment with only one bathroom. Everyone needs to get ready at the same time in the morning. Our mom says she and…
Undressing in front of gay stepsister presents quandary
Dear Straight Talk: I'm 16 with a stepsister the same age. We share a room during visitations and have become good friends. She has confided that she is gay and is having gay sex with a gay friend. She said she is not ready to come…
February, 2013
Hover-parented girl wants help finding herself
Dear Straight Talk: My parents have always dominated my life. I’m a junior at a college I hate. I play college sports and a musical instrument I'd rather not play. I’ve never worked, being too busy being "enriched." I sound…
Is boss out to lunch regarding wages?
Dear Straight Talk: My boss keeps telling me young people have it easy today. But I’ve worked 40 hours a week at $12 an hour for eight months and have been unsuccessful at saving money for college. I ride a bicycle six miles to work,…
Abuser seeks help to break pattern
Dear Straight Talk: I grew up with my stepfather regularly knocking my mother around when he was drunk and being emotionally abusive to both her and me. She would never stand up to him or leave him and I hated both of them for participating…
“Babe Magnet” dishes advice for girls
Dear Straight Talk: As a certified "babe magnet" at a large high school, for all you girls interested in guys like me — and there are a lot of you — could you please be a little harder to get? When a girl lets me have it too…
January, 2013
In love with troubled stepbrother. Now what?
Dear Straight Talk: My stepfather has a son a year older than me who didn’t live with us because my stepdad didn’t have custody. Since we weren’t blood related, I had a crush on “Unknown.” I didn’t hear…
Racism alive and (un)well, to dismay of teen
Dear Straight Talk: I’m 16. My cousins, adopted from Kenya, ages 14 and 15 are visiting. I never figured my friends were prejudiced, but my best friend says she isn’t “comfortable” staying the night “right…
Cost of virtual violence Part II
Dear Readers: Last week, “Curious Reader” asked if mass shootings are the price of society’s insatiable appetite for media violence. A furious defense ensued from the male panelists (see our column JAN 8), who pointed…
Imagine there’s no violence. I wonder if you can.
Dear Straight Talk: This generation is not just born and bred on the Internet, but on an insatiable diet of violence in movies, video games and rap. The other thing uniquely part of their world are mass shootings. If these shootings were…
Safe schools — panel weighs in with solutions
Dear Readers: The best ‘in-school’ solution I know to make schools places where kids are welcomed by their peers, versus places of harm, is the “Safe School Ambassadors” program. The program works with human nature:…
December, 2012
Friend might have drinking problem
Dear Straight Talk: I think this friend, "Tamara", has a drinking problem. I realize she's not much different than 10 other people I know, but she strikes me as drinking, not just to have fun, but to numb out problems with her father,…
Optimum World 2013
Dear Readers: Youth are society’s truth serum. Every year during the symbolic time of the holidays, I ask the panelists what they wish for the world. Reaching out to others and the earth, the need for community mind over individual…
Gift giving in blended family not that complicated
Dear Straight Talk: My friend thinks she doesn't need to get her stepdaughter much for Christmas. She says "Emily" will get gifts from her own mom, and her kids won't get anything from their dad, so buying less for Emily only balances…
Let’s keep up the straight talk
Dear Readers: Since 2004 Straight Talk has been bringing you the "straight talk". We are a small, independent nonprofit writing some of the straight-talkin'est youth news found anywhere. It's ironic that we live in a world overloaded…
November, 2012
Lying to parents? Why?
Dear Straight Talk: As a parent, I find your column very helpful. I have a situation I've not read about. Over the past two weeks, I kept asking my youngest about his homework assignment and he kept saying he had it handled. It turned…
Brother’s “disgusting” diet worries Sis
Dear Straight Talk: I am 21, my little brother is 15. We are very close. The problem is he lives with our dad and my dad and his wife aren't food conscious like my mom, who shops organic. They let him eat candy, fast food, and drink…
Holiday shopping list for teens ‘n twenties
Dear Readers: Here it is again, folks, the "teen-n-twenty" shopping list that's direct from the source. I probably sound like a broken record, but I continue my progressive advice to "think outside the box" (or in this case the flat…
Daughter falling for high school bad boy
Dear Straight Talk: I have full custody of a talented, intelligent, 15-year-old daughter. She just started freshman year and is moving fast toward having a senior, poor student, drug-using boyfriend. Obviously, I'm not thrilled with…
October, 2012
Kids in hard-hit family not pulling weight
Dear Straight Talk: I have two daughters in college. Due to the recession, our economic situation changed drastically since they were in high school, where they enjoyed private schools, lessons, cars, trips abroad, etc. How do I get…
Don’t discount leering stepfather
Dear Straight Talk: The problem is my stepfather. He doesn't walk around in the nude like some parents, but he looks my sister and me up and down, staring at our breasts and crotch in a way that makes us very uncomfortable. If it was…
Halloween costumes that mock cultures a bad idea
Dear Straight Talk: I'm in college and my very nice roommates are talking about dressing up as Muslims for Halloween. One, who is buff, is even talking about putting on blackface and going as Muhammad Ali. I think both the blackface…
Is cursing at parents standard fare for teens?
Dear Straight Talk: A dear friend struggling with single parenting called to tell me that his daughter said, "F– you," to him at dinner. She is 14. I burst out laughing and told him welcome to raising teenagers. He is still mad at…
Don’t just vote. Get informed first.
Dear Straight Talk: In 1787, our founding fathers gathered behind closed doors to decide what form of government the fledgling United States would have. The newly-freed colonists held their breath. When the delegates finally emerged, someone…
September, 2012
Son needs Dad — and fast
Dear Straight Talk: I separated from my wife last year after much unhappiness. Our youngest, "Jon", age 16, is living with his mother because she allows a no-rules environment — plus, he blames me for the divorce. Last year his grades…
Smoking pot too young results in significant IQ drop
Dear Straight Talk: I'm in 8th grade and my best friends are starting to smoke weed. One is getting it from his parent's supply and they are doctors. I don't want to smoke it but they say everyone does it and our parents did,…
Absence makes girl’s heart go yonder
Dear Straight Talk: Last week I moved seven hours away from my boyfriend of two years. We are at different colleges and agreed to make it work. But I am having my doubts. He was my first and only boyfriend and I'm feeling like I need…
Does college couple need pill and condom both?
Dear Straight Talk: My boyfriend is 22 and I'm almost 20. We're in college and unsure about our long-term future so we just call ourselves friends. However, our relationship has been monogamous and steady for almost a year…
August, 2012
Daughter is shaving pubic hair. What does it mean?
Dear Straight Talk: I don't know who to talk to. I walked in on my daughter (17), undressing, and couldn't help but see that she shaves her pubic hair. I didn't say a thing and decided to write you instead. Are all the girls…
Kids want divorce drama over, but Mom can’t stomach ex
Dear Straight Talk: I am newly divorced from my husband who "wanted out" of the relationship after 18 years and three kids (13, 15, and 18). He has a girlfriend already and wants to act like old friends. The kids want us to be friends,…
Stereotyped as a “B” student? Tips for getting A’s
Dear Straight Talk: Some time ago you printed a letter from a boy who felt stereotyped as a B student. The panel gave tips on how to get A's anyway. Could you run that again? When school starts, I want to be ready. — Carly,…
Parents walking around house nude bothers sisters
Dear Straight Talk: Our dad and mom believe in casual nudity in the home. They think nothing of walking around naked. It didn’t bother us when we were younger and were taught to be casual ourselves. However, since we’ve…
Date-rape drugs a peril at today’s parties
Dear Straight Talk: Please print this letter as it may help others. My friend was slipped a date-rape drug at a party. She was drinking, but not that much, then suddenly she started acting super drunk and went unconscious. We got her out…
July, 2012
Boy, parents at odds over gap year
Dear Straight Talk: I'm slated to head off to college in August, but I want to take a gap year in South America first. I have savings and will work as I go. I think immersing in a different culture is good for Americans. My parents…
Girl thinks post-high school dating rules too strict
Dear Straight Talk: I'm 17. I've graduated from high school and will attend community college this fall. I have a boyfriend, but I'm not allowed to hang out at his house because he lives with his dad. My parents say they need…
Boyfriend is addicted to meth
Dear Straight Talk: Please help. I am 22 and have been with my boyfriend for two years. He was the greatest person — that is, until some personal problems led him to try meth. He was instantly addicted. He is such a different person…
